Dream Wild Designs

     I was raised in a Christian family by the most wonderful parents ever! I have a brother and three sisters. I went to Salfordhills Elementary School until 3rd grade then my parents took me and my siblings out of public school so that they could personally home school all of us. The greatest decision ever! I did miss my school friends but I soon met a lot of new home schooled friends. I really enjoyed being schooled at home because I was able to spend more time with my family and more time outside just being a kid! I have so many sweet memories of those fun, good, old days! I really loved the pond scum wars and monkey contests with my cousins and siblings! There were so many fun things we did! I was always going for walks in the woods and catching little interesting bugs and animals and adding them to my pet collection. I learned about them and took care of them all on my own which taught me responsibility.
    Home schooling wasn't all fun and games though. I hated math! It made my brain hurt and I used to tell my mom how it made me feel car sick. Most of my school work was done together as a family. My parents made us all wake up before the sun was up to get started on the day. We had family devotions together every morning. My mom made sure that we were learning about the things that are most important. My parents taught me about God and my need for a savior from my sins. The first time that I remember understanding my desperate need for God was when I was 7, when my girls club leader spoke to each of us girls individually and I prayed and accepted Jesus as my savior and asked God to come into my heart and forgive my sins. I am still a sinner but I now know that I am sinless in God's eyes because Jesus's death paid for my sins!
    I always enjoyed talking to God and singing worship songs to him. I felt His love and comfort as I grew up. I never felt alone. Even as a child I was always walking off by myself and doing my own thing (exploring) with no one with me but God and sometimes the family dog would follow me around. Any time I was scared or worried about something I'd pray to God, and immediately I would feel comforted. I was able to overcome my fears as a child because I knew that God was my protector and my revenger!
    The Bible teaches that a humble prayer backed by faith God will answer. I found this to be very true when I was young. I remember clearly how so many of my prayers were answered. On one occasion when I was around 7 years old I cut my finger. I wasn't one to cry about small injuries but I prayed that God would heal it and then I looked at my finger and I couldn't find a cut anywhere. Another time I had caught some little peeper frogs and left them in a plastic critter container in the sun (I was to young to know any better). I found them latter completely dried up and dead (rock stiff). I was really upset about that so I poured water into the container and prayed that God would bring them to life again. Next thing you know the little frogs were swimming around in the water. It takes child like faith for miracles like that to happen. Matthew 17:20- And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.
    As I reached my teen years I became bitter towards my parents and I hated myself. I hated how I looked, how I talked, and how I acted. No one outside of my family would have known this because I hid it. Sometimes I tried to avoid people so that I wouldn't be seen because I thought I was stupid and ugly. I set goals for myself that I was never able to reach. I am a perfectionist and I was upset with myself for being so imperfect. I hated myself because I knew how I was acting was wrong and I knew I had everything I could ever need and yet I wasn’t satisfied. I was so vain, self centered, and proud. I wanted to change the way I was but I was relying on myself to do it instead of asking God to help me and allowing Him to work in my heart.
    Even at that point in life I still loved God, I loved my life for the most part, I loved my house, my yard, my pets, my friends, and my family! I would never have traded them for anything in the world! I knew that I didn’t deserve any of it! My anger and bitterness was directed to the ones I loved most and I hated myself even more for it. I didn't understand why and I didn't understand myself. I had thoughts of suicide but I'd immediately shut them out of my mind because I knew that was a very selfish and wrong thing to do. After much prayer and time and the love of those around me, God helped me to overcome all that!!!
Jerimiah 17:9 The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?
1 Samuel 16:7 ...for the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart.
    My biggest fear has always been the fear of man. For anyone who doesn't know what that means, fear of man is fearing what people think of you. Everyone who knows me knows that I am shy and quiet. I struggle with speaking in front of big and even small groups of people. I often get embarrassed when I talk because some times I stutter over my words, I can never find the right words to describe what I'm trying to say, and I often forget my punch line. I worry too much about trying to be excepted and liked by everyone. It's a constant battle just to be me. I know its wrong and I have been praying that God would help me to get over it. Lately I've grown so much in this area and I have been getting bolder around people and more talkative. It makes me feel so much better!
    God has been continually working in my life and kindly showing me where I have gone wrong. I was baptized at age 15 to make a public announcement of my desire to live for God. I currently attend Grace Community Church. It is a wonderful church and I have many amazing Christian friends there! I am enjoying my life through the good and bad times. I have been blessed with a wonderful life, compared to most people, and I thank God for it! I only wish that everyone could enjoy the same peace in life and assurance in their eternity! I am truly not afraid to die! I actually look forward to it because I know that I will be spending eternity in an awesome place!